There are a few tell-tale signs in every household that the end of summer is near. As my children start to ask with more frequency, “How long until we have to go back to school?”, I tell them to look for these signs:
5. Language, language! There is a direct correlation between the number of weeks they have been out of school, and the number of bad words Mommy uses. Count the F- bombs, kids. It will steadily rise throughout the summer, but you will notice a marked increase around the two-week countdown.
4. Showers tonight, Mommy? I don’t know, honey. Did you take one yesterday? No? Hmm. What did we do today? Mostly inside? Okay, are you going anywhere tomorrow? Limited human contact? How about we let this ride another day or two if I can get your a**es in bed in the next 10 minutes?!
3. This is lunch. A lot. We do have all the food groups covered, though. If the Goldfish count as protein, and we can stretch the icing of the pop tart to a dairy? Don’t act like you don’t see the fruit filling in that one. And in case you’re wondering, the leftover pastry from breakfast is not even toasted. It’s been weeks since I heard them say, “Mommy, it dinged! Breakfast is ready!” Mother of the year, right here. .
2. Meltdowns. Oh my goodness, the meltdowns! Multiple times a day, with screaming, yelling, crying, alternating between being curled up in a ball on the floor and stomping through the house. The kids’ tantrums are pretty bad,too.
1. This is what I did to the calendar today…
So, to my dear sugarbutts, you are very close to going back to school. You know how you can REALLY tell? I’m sneaking in a few extra hugs every day.