CUDDLES NOT CODDLES
Have you ever joined in the rants about kids these days? How selfish, lazy, gimme-a-trophy-for-nothing, cry about everything, smelly little punks they are? Okay, maybe the smelly part is just my opinion, and in all fairness to other kids out there, that may be due to my lack of motivation to bathe my little demons. But, I think all of the rest are things we see in other children that we want to try to prevent in our own. I say try, because as your babies grow, you see so many personality traits start to emerge. Some will be more sensitive than others. They can still be taught that while you understand that they’re upset to see their brother rub a favorite stuffed animal on his butt to make them cry, they don’t HAVE to cry like a little … Anyway, you get the idea, and you know what “wording” works for your family. So, in teaching our children about how to deal with their emotions, we have introduced them to the suck-it bucket. Now don’t assume this means we’re those horrible parents you glare at when their kid falls down and starts crying and they just scream at them to quit wailin’. Calm down! We have compassion for our babies’ pain. But there are those instances, you know the ones, that you are thinking “Gimme a break!”. You’re thinking how you never would have complained about that when you were little, and your parents never would have let you get away with it. These are the opportunities to teach them the life lesson of the suck-it bucket.
Things aren’t always equal – we try to be fair so as not to show favoritism but we can’t walk around with a calculator adding it all up. She has 2 more outfits than you. Put it in your suck-it bucket.
We can’t always do what other parents do. Yes, your friend gets to go “fill in blank” every day, but Mommy doesn’t always feel well enough to drag 4 kids out for the sake of the ever so popular activities agenda for kids. We have to pace ourselves. Spending the money isn’t top of my list of fun,either. So, you’ll enjoy the things we CAN do. Or, put it in your suck-it bucket.
Homework has to be finished. Think of it as your job. Just like Daddy doesn’t enjoy going to work, and there are days I’d rather use sandpaper on my eyeballs than show up to mine. Oh, sorry schmoopies, I still love you and all, you can just be really – hmm,difficult sometimes and make me cry. But anyway, we were talking about you, not me, right? So homework is your job, and it needs to be finished before you go to bed. Strategically (I’m convinced), laying out toys on the rug so they blend in and I can’t see them so I twist my ankle, does NOT have to be done before bed. Put it in your suck-it bucket.
Actually, here’s a real life, true example of us using our bucket:
We took the kids to the zoo. Every year we get 2 family passes. One indoor, and one outdoor activity. With 4 kids, this is very economical as far as entertainment goes. They all love the zoo. They also want something every time they go. We don’t roll like that. Our first trip this summer, they asked, as usual, if we would buy them, well, anything. It was a hot day. We ate our packed lunch, and needed refills for our water bottles fairly quickly. Inside an exhibit, we used a water fountain. As the afternoon went on, I decided I really had a hankering for a cold fountain pop. At the next place selling refreshments, I ran inside. I brought out my medium cup, took a few sips, then handed it over to Jackpot to share. Dax, just turned four, looked up at me with his angelic, blue-eyed face, and said, “Hey, why do you guys get a drink?” Deep breath so I don’t lose my shit…. “Honey. Daddy can barely make it through his work week his knee hurts so bad. Mommy had so many blood sugar roller coasters this week she’s having a hard time staying awake. But, we didn’t want you guys cooped up on this beautiful, although hot as Hell, day. We bring you here many times a year, buy you treats to eat, treats from the gift shop. But, we’re keeping the money a little tighter right now. So, Mommy and Daddy are going to split this cup of ice-cold Diet Coke while you all drink warm lizard exhibit water. Put it in your suck-it bucket.”
So, as you can see, we’re not monsters. Okay, maybe you think we are.We prefer to see ourselves as reality-dosers. Life isn’t always fair. Life can actually sometimes suck. But, if we do our job and teach them now how to deal with it, even if our method is sometimes “frowned upon”, our little sometimes shitasses won’t grow up to be adult always shitasses. They won’t be the teenagers, and adults, playing on their phones because they don’t feel like working right now. You worked 2 hours today already and feel you deserve the break? Suck-it bucket.They won’t be the a-holes who think they should get their order first because, well, they’re who they are???? You’re running late, but they were here before you. Suck-it bucket.They won’t think they can move out of our house into a deluxe apartment and the rent will magically get paid. You’re used to better, why should you have to pay for less? Suck-it bucket.
My goal is to never have a son-in-law, or daughter–in-laws, who call and bitch me out that I raised a princess for them to deal with. Of course, if they did, you know where I’d tell them to put it.
No children were harmed emotionally beyond repair in the stories above. All of our delicious babies get plenty of hugs along with each life lesson.
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