Yes, we need to talk about the elephant in the room. It’s me. I’m the elephant. Okay, that may be a little harsh, but the reality is that’s how I feel as I move around the house. Uncomfortably big. Wait. Maybe I should have said the hippo, because I find them fascinating. I mean, the way they look like they’re just ambling around, not paying attention to anything and then BOOM!, they attack like they’re insane. Hmm. On second thought we’re going to say I’m the hippo. Anyway, everybody has their own story about why they need to lose weight or put it on in the first place. Many mothers would refer to my situation as baby weight. I had 4 kids in 5 years. To try to avoid birth defects associated with high blood sugar in diabetics, I kept my glucose levels VERY low while pregnant. This can contribute to considerable weight gain. Some experts, including some of you, find this arguable. Those of us living with Type 1 for decades have the experience to know the reality. In between each pregnancy, I did a pretty good job to get my weight back down before getting pregnant again. With each child, I had less workout time available to me, and I was older (after 40 metabolism can be a big shocker!), so I was a little higher than I wanted before pregnancy #4. Then, this being the last one, I decided I wouldn’t kill myself for the 2 (and sometimes more) pounds a week weight loss. I took it slow. I was about 25 down, 25 to go, then nothing. I tried all of my tried and true, beat the plateau tricks, but nothing worked. For months and months. It depressed me. I stopped trying. It’s all back. The realization hits, and hear me moms, after 2 years it’s no longer baby weight, IT’S MOMMY WEIGHT.
So, I’m going to share my struggle with you. My hope is to have results that inspire. That you can take all of my “in spite ofs”, and see me kick ass anyway. I want that for you. But, let’s be honest, I really, REALLY want this for me. I don’t want to feel more crappy than I already do with all of my health issues. I want to be as healthy as is under my control for my kids who are stuck with an old-ass mom as it is. I want to buy new clothes, even though I hate to shop (I know some of you just stopped trusting me with that revelation).
Here’s my plan. Stop obsessing over what I can’t do and do what I can. I am not new to this. I know what works. I just need to stick with it and be patient. It may be slow, but it will happen.
First order of business is to pick the few changes to start out with that I can handle in my life right now. I used to drink tons of water, but couldn’t stomach it in my last pregnancy. I had to force it, making my 9 months of nausea much worse. Talk about a challenge! I never quite got my taste for it back, so throughout the day it is replaced 2 to 3 times by an artificially sweetened beverage. Calm down, I know this is horrible for me. So increasing water, while decreasing these, is the beginning of my journey. Next week, I will pick another target. Maybe my chocolate addiction? To wean or go cold turkey?
I’ve had a lot of issues over the last 7 months with my diabetes. It turns out I had a faulty pump, and I just kept blaming it on not nursing or being pregnant for the 1st time in 8 years, thinking my hormones were just freaking out. That was only part of the problem. I have had my new pump for a couple of weeks now, and am working on adjusting the insulin doses that I need. This is key to me being able to safely work out without having to worry about the extreme lows that can come on so quickly when exercising without the right blood sugar level. So, I am working toward working out. When I am able to, I know what I have to do. I will share my go-to, works-every-time, in another post.
I will keep you all updated with progress, and what’s working, what’s not in a monthly post. I’ve decided to only weigh in that often. I know once a week is always recommended, but my OCD takes that to every day, which can make interpretation of results frustrating. This will work better for me.
This is an area I would love for you all to join in and share your stories. Tell us all your weight loss journey, whether past, present, or planned. Share your reasons-for gaining, for not being able to lose, for wanting to lose, all of it. We won’t judge!
I’m Tina. I need to lose 50lbs. I’m unhealthy, a when – depressed – overeater, and way too tired with all these damn kids, to take care of myself. But, I’m also determined. I’ll do this.
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