Now that I’ve decided to drag you along on my weight loss journey, I thought I would give you an update every couple of weeks, or post some of your journeys if you share them with us. If you are joining me on this, I know it can be helpful to know how others on your “team” are doing. It can provide motivation and support, even if we never speak (which I’ll totally talk to you,by the way, about anything. It’s one of my gifts, or annoying habits, depending on who you ask). Anyway, originally I planned to only weigh in every month, because anything more would lead to an everyday obsession. I’m considering myself succesful in that I’ve only jumped on the scale once a week. So there’s a win!
Here is how I started out 2 weeks ago. I started the way I always do before a diet. A fat-ass-a-thon. This is the name my oldest brother came up with for the event that we all have taken part in at least once. Special holidays, vacations, the times when we decide we’re not counting calories and IT IS ON! The idea behind me doing this each time before I try to lose weight, and it always works for me, is to just get stuff out of my system. I go through the store and put in the cart the things that I know I will start craving as soon as counting calories starts making me obsess about food. Before I’m out somewhere and see something I haven’t had in a long time, and it drives me crazy saying no to it. With all I would need in my cart, I was ready to start this thing. I’m in checkout, half of my groceries already on the belt, and it hits me – salami roll-ups. I didn’t get the stuff to make salami roll-ups! What will I do if I’ve started my diet and I’m confronted by salami roll-ups? Now, I don’t know if you’re picturing this confrontation the way I was at the moment, but I saw human-size slices of lunch meat wrapped around oozing cream cheese running after me, begging for my immediate attention. I knew I was serious this time about losing weight when I didn’t get out of line to give in to those fatty f*^#ers.
I got through my 2 days of gorging (although I found I didn’t even want to finish most of it, so I didn’t end up eating more food than usual,just different), ready to start with the baby step I had picked. If you saw the original post in this series, you know that was to cut out the artificially sweetened beverages and consume more water. I also knew I was ready to cut out some junk here and there. I started out okay. The first couple of days I got down to one “bad” drink, and replaced the others with water. Then I got to the point I had to write my next posts. I can only do this after everyone is in bed so it’s quiet. That makes for a 4am night. I turned to pop, even without caffeine, to keep me sitting up. Same thing the next day, as I dragged around with the kids. I was too tired to care what I was drinking. The good thing, sort of, was that I was so stressed about this blog thing, I wasn’t obsessed by food. Normally, I’ll stress eat, but it was just the opposite. I was pretty confident when I stepped on the scale after a week. Nope. Up 2 pounds. Now, I had been steadily gaining for a while, with other weird symptoms, without an increase in eating. I just figured that’s my metabolism continuing to slow down with age. Now that I was getting on the scale and tracking it, that was quite a surprise. Next week, same thing. 2 more pounds. Well, this was more of a reason for frustration than concern, but the other weird symptoms were becoming worse. I ended up at the doctor for testing, some of it a bit scary, but some major things were ruled out. I have more testing to come (anybody want to watch the younger 2 while I do a 5 hour test in a couple of weeks?), so hopefully with a diagnosis, some of the symptoms, including weight gain, will go away. The doctor also put me on something for my fibromyalgia that I’ve been resisting taking medication for. It’s just got to the point that I have a hard time getting out of bed some mornings and moving around. I’ve got 4 little ones to take care of, so it was time to give in. I’ve just started the medication, and so far I can barely keep my eyes open. Very dizzy and zombie-like. This presumably will fade. Once I’m getting more quality rest without the pain interfering with sleep, I may simply start moving faster. That may help kick my metabolism a little bit. But, I need to wait until the dizziness goes away before starting the workout, another disappointment, as I was planning on really getting to it this week with 2 of the kids back at school. I’m thinking if it hasn’t gone away in a week,though, I will need to stop the medication anyway. So, either way, workout begins next week, hopefully much sooner. If the other tests come back as expected, and it can be treated, that at least will help with bloating, which just feels horrible. I’m disappointed in general to have more medicines and health problems added on to the list, but after over 30 years with the diabetes, it’s a bit expected at this point. With all of these issues being addressed, I am staying positive that I can make some progress.
I’m sorry if anyone has been looking to me to see the progress and hope for themselves. I am still trying. I won’t quit. I will succeed like every other time. It will just be more difficult and take longer. I find myself jealous of people who only need to battle their own willpower and motivation. Please stick with me. Please share with me and the rest of us. No fad diets or pills. Let’s just get healthy together, and stay that way! I can’t wait to hear from you.
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